Nyyah nyyah nyyah nyyah nyyah nyyyyahhhhhh, al-Zarqawi can't fire a machiiiiiine gunnnnnn

Whenever I read the news and get depressed about the mainstream media's general coverage of Iraq, sometimes I come across a gem that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Apparently, in the unedited version of al-Zarqawi's latest video, the terrorist leader is revealed to be someone incompetent in handling a machine gun. From CNN's report:

Al-Zarqawi is seen walking toward a white pickup truck in "New Balance tennis shoes" with associates around him, called "his trusted advisers" by Lynch.

They "do things like grab the hot barrel of a machine gun and burn themselves," Lynch said, narrating the video to reporters.

In another portion, Lynch said, "Here's Zarqawi, the ultimate warrior, trying to shoot his machine gun.

"It's supposed to be automatic fire. He's shooting single shots one at a time. Something's wrong with his machine gun. He looks down, can't figure it out. He calls his friend to unblock the stoppage and get the weapon firing again."

This may seem like small potatoes to the majority of us who have rarely, if ever, handled a firearm. But for *these* guys…who have spent their entire lives training for combat…being unable to operate a machine gun has to be pretty humiliating…especially when you’re their leader.

And these are people who take their pride seriously. I remember a news report out of Afghanistan around 2002 when Marines were reporting how easy it was to pick off the Taliban…all you had to do was shout insults at them and they’d come flying out of their hiding spots in a rage. Maybe we can play this footage in fast motion, complete with Benny Hill’s “Yakety Sax” music playing in the background, and get it aired on an Iraqi TV channel to taunt the insurgents (although somehow I don’t think Al Jazeera would be up for hosting it).

On a separate note, you’ve also got to love the image of the American-hating leader sporting a pair of American-based New Balance sneakers. Nothing like hypocrisy.